"There's A Book of Faces?"

Luke and I are technology-phobic. Well, not phobic, but we just don't go in for all the latest gadgets. Which given Luke's job, is kind of weird.

His latest venture has been writing software that will allow different kinds of media to talk to each other and translate without much problem. The problem is, we were really unsure exactly what media we were talking about.

I get texting. I don't do it, but I get it. I have a cell phone. Again, not a mac-daddy one, just a phone. I have a computer and I use it. I shop, I blog, I print pictures and copy stuff. I don't share this with anyone, I just do it. I suppose I understand the need for all of these things to talk to each other theoretically. Theory is good, right?

Well, it was decided by Luke's boss, that if you are writing software to connect different services, maybe you should know what the user is doing with those services. Hence, a foray into Facebook. So Luke signed up last night.

Now, I know several of you do this. What "this" is, I am still unsure of. All I know is what I read in this month's issue of Guideposts. Yes, this christian magazine was cautioning people on the ways in which they use this service, and the correct ettiquette when you do choose to partake. They were warning about the types of pictures you post and having more control over what you allow people that aren't your "friends" to see. I read it, but it was all geek to me.

Then, last night, Luke logs on to Facebook. Wow!!! It all becomes clear. I still have no idea what you do there, but, oh, the humanity! We were scrolling through links provided to Luke based on the fact that they work at the same place of business. So I'm shocked at the pictures people have chosen to post. Ladies with their bazooms pushed out to here for all to see, people sporting multiple drinks and cigs; there was even a lady that was sending out the "double bird" for all to see! Umm, am I in the right category? Luke actually works with these people and they deign to call themselves "professionals"! From some of these pictures I have to ask the question, "Professial what?"

From the work associations, we moved on to those people chosen because they graduated from the same high school as him. Again, the pictures were amazing. My favorites were the ones that weren't actually pictures of the people, but cartoon characters like Superman, or some South Park guy. So, I could put a picture on there that wasn't me? Like, let's say, Dana Delany? Yeah, right.

Then we moved on to a search for a specific person. However, said person had a very generic name. Oh-my-god!! It was like Wal-mart on sale day meets the county fair on wrist-band night! If they weren't covered in make-up, they looked like drug dealers or serial killers. One of the pictures even had a small sentence that said, "I like you." Buddy, you don't even know me! And I have to tell you, after scrolling through forty minutes worth of pictures, you start to wonder if these little thumbnails can actually see into your home!

I briefly considered getting up to date and joining. Instead, I'm shutting the 'book' on this one.

Moral of the story: Faces are for smiling at in person or identifying in a mug shot; not for making friends with in a book.

"BTW, IDGI"

I M ABT2 let you in on a secret.....I don't know squat about text messaging. I have a cell phone. Occasionally I turn it on. But it's just a phone; no camera, no on-line help, it doesn't even get me the weather. The only thing it does by itself is charge my credit card when it feels the need to eat some minutes. So I am continually baffled by the whole text lingo. I don't get it.

Granted, I do remember some things from my days in fourth grade. I know what a BFF is. Thanks to Tigger, I know what TTFN is. Thanks to e-mails I have received I know what OMG, WTF, and LOL are. It shouldn't surprise anyone that I can cuss in text, if nothing else. I have always said someone should come up with a texting dictionary for dummies. Not that I'm a dummy, I just need a little help here. DIY, you say? CSL? Well, DGTG, 'cause now I know the code!

It just so happens that today is our first day of Potter School. So recently, we went shopping for a few supplies. NBD, I just thought we would GFI and get some new notebooks. NM, but it Def paid off.

FYI, QT, they made a notebook with just what I needed on it. It has the "Periodic Text Message Table" printed right on the front. TMI? TBH, it was just what I needed. Now I can WE with the best of them. TY, TY, TY! NTK someone else out there was looking for this. IDM to me if you think it's cool or not; you don't like it you can MYOB.

BIF, if this makes you ALOL, then GR8! Because I think it helped me out PDQ.

It is TTG. XOXO for now B/C I'm ABT2 go. This was EZ, but would have been better F2F. Remember, I've GNBLFY.

PS. FTR, I CSL!

Moral of the story: SWDYT? NE1?

"It's Called a Mustache"

This week the kids were cooped up at art camp during the day. This is a great deal, but they don't get outside time. So one day this week I couldn't take the cabin fever and kicked them outside even though the temperatures were well in to the melting range.

I was pleased to find that they lasted almost thirty minutes outside before they were sweating so much they threatened to turn into puddles of their former selves. I let them into the air conditioning, which I had the luxury of all along, and marveled at their bright red faces and soaked hair. Rachel was sitting next to me when she came up with this gem.

Sweat was pouring down her face in a river, and it obviously bothered her. So she put her mind to work to solve this problem. And anyone who knows my children, knows they think out of the box. This is what she came up with.

"Mom, I'm tired of having a salty taste in my mouth because sweat runs off my lip."

"Okay." I had just spent 30 glorious minutes inside without the kids, it was the best response I had.

"Well, eyebrows keep the sweat from running into your eyes, so I wish I had an eyebrow on my lip."

Hmm. I've seen this, and it ain't pretty. So I tell her, "Honey, that's called a mustache." I got the usual pre-teen squealy response. It was great.

Moral of the story: Sometimes when you try to think outside the box, you miss the nose on your face, or should I say, mustache.

"Going Green Costs A Lot of Green"

So, the kids have Art Camp this week. It counts as a week of school for us; that way if Luke doesn't get in any art lessons with the kids, at least they have had something. So Sunday was spent trying to figure out what to send with my kids for lunch.

This might not seem like such a big deal to most, but in our house, the lunchbox is a big deal to the kids. However, they have no idea what should go in it. They haven't sat next to others at school and had lunch envy. In this arena, they are pretty much clueless.

Which doesn't seem like it should be a problem. But because my kids are used to eating lunch at home with a full kitchen and pantry, they don't understand about lunchbox food. They won't eat sandwiches anymore, for some reason. They want to take left-overs and soup.

Oookaay. Not a problem, really. I'll just get them some kind of thermos for that stuff. I was already getting them new drink thermoses because I am trying to be green and get away from boxes, bags, and plastic bottles. Here's what I didn't realize: you have to be wealthy enough to support a small country in order to afford all these re-useable containers.

I had already purchased 'Snack Taxi' holders in expectation of the lunchbox experience. If you haven't heard of these, they are re-useable, washable bags that velcro shut and are to be used instead of ziplock bags. These things are really great and have worked well so far. However, they were 7 and 9 dollars apiece for each kid.

Now, I'm at Target, in the school supplies aisle, looking at lunchboxes and thermoses. Here they have stainless steel, supposedly leak-proof thermoses that should keep food hot or cold up to 5 hours. Great. I'll need a drink one and a food one for each of the kids. For $15 apiece!!! Thank the Goddess of Target they just happened to be on sale for $12.99 at the time.

So let's recap -- two Snack Taxi's apiece and a drink and food thermos each -- this comes to roughly $83.82....and that didn't include tax, or shipping for the Taxi's! All that, for FIVE DAYS worth of lunchbox use. I realize those of you that actually do the school thing will get way more use out of these than I ever will. This cost amortized over the school year, really isn't all that much; less than 50 cents a day. For me, it's about $16.75 a day for just the containers; this doesn't include food to put in them.

And here's something else to think about. For Art Camp, the kids need two snacks and a lunch for the day. If I put all of that in re-useable containers, they will need lunchboxes the size of a small carry-on bag. In the end, I had to buy Caprisun drinks anyway, just because the kids needed more than one drink and I couldn't afford any more thermoses.

Moral of the story: They call it 'going green' for a reason.

"It's Anniversary Time"

So it's almost our wedding anniversary. We'll be celebrating our sixteenth on the 24th of this month. This past weekend, while the kids were at grandma's, Luke took some time off and we had four days to ourselves. It makes me think about years past and years to come. So here it is, our marriage, in 200 words or less.

Getting here hasn't been easy, but it has definitely been worth it. Being married is like having a second job. It isn't 50/50; it's 100/100. Being married means saying you're sorry when you really don't think you did anything wrong. It means taking up the slack when your partner is working really hard and can't help around the house. And it's also being sensitive enough to know when your partner has taken all they can and step in and help. At the end of the day, or week, or month, there's no tally sheet showing how helpful each of you was to each other. There's just a sense of peace that you get from being a good team. And Luke and I are a damn good team.

We aren't the same people we were when we were first married. And thank the stars for that; because wouldn't it be boring. We got married very young, and have had plenty of time to mature into different people. What's even better, we like these versions just as much, if not more than the originals. Maybe it's because we were there for most of it. We have been through several moves, job changes, a miscarriage, two kids, car payments, house payments, debt and bonuses, vacations, funerals and births, and we have lost and gained more weight than I would ever have thought possible when we started out. And despite all of that, or maybe because of it, we have a better sense of ourselves as individuals and as a couple than we ever did before.

I love my husband more now, than I did on the day we got married. And I am certain he feels the same way. Yes, the giddy rush of first love and sweaty palms and insecurities was fun. This, this is way better. I love what a great dad he is. I love that he understands my need to be with my family more than others find normal. I love that he knows I'm not trying to be a bitch, I'm just having a hard time saying what I mean in a way both of us understands. I love that he makes me feel better just by walking in the door. I love that when he's tired, it's me he wants to snuggle with. I love that he can calm me down, and my daughter, with just a few words. I love that he's my best friend. As I always tell him, he's my favorite.

I kind of feel sorry for the kids in all this. Don't get me wrong; they're great. But eventually, they'll leave and try to find their own way, without me. And guess who will still be there for me. Five years down the road; ten, fifty years down the road. Luke. And isn't that the way marriage should be.

Happy Anniversary, Honey.

Moral of the story: Sometimes, there are happily-ever-afters. And I got me one.