"So, What's After?"

I hate to admit it, but I have a lot of time to myself during the day; anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour and a half, most days. Might not seem like much, but believe me, it is. So when I'm done cleaning the kitchen, schooling the kids, and starting dinner, then what do I do? Most days I read, sometimes I watch HGTV, other days I sit and wish I had enough time for a nap.

Unfortunately, most of the time I worry. "Now what do you have to worry about?" you might ask. I know, I'm borrowing trouble, but I worry about the future. A lot. Yes, we're fine financially; at least for the day-to-day stuff. However, we're just one good disaster away from financial trouble. And if that doesn't happen, then what about college? I have two smart cookies that know they are going to "Gator" school. Only, how am I supposed to pay for that? And then there's my obsession with HGTV. I want to upgrade and remodel like we're made of money, but we're not.

So, this is one of those things that is constantly in the back of my mind. I know that I can't stay home with my children indefinitely. So what do I do when the time comes? I still have my teaching certificate, and plan on keeping it up to date. But, really, do I want to teach? One of the reasons I left was because I couldn't stomach where this state's education system was headed. Why do you think I spend my Master's degree on my kids? I'm sorry to say, I'm not sure I could do it again. I realize the extra years will help out when I'm retirement age, but I don't think this is incentive enough to sell my soul.

This leaves me making countless mental lists. What am I good at? What could I do when my kids leave and work-life is imminent? So, you do what you like. I like to read. That leaves me to do, what? Edit? I don't do the whole grammar thing well. Review? Do they really pay people for that? Yeah, maybe one in a million.

So how about writing? I obviously enjoy writing for the blog, even if Val has to edit occasionally. Here's the problem. I'm snarky, not literary. Who's going to pay money for that? I haven't had some horrible tragedy befall me that I can play off of. I'm not an addict and have never been to rehab. I have ideas for stories and have even tried to write. The problem was the most recent story I worked on was depressing and made me mopey. I wasn't sure where it was going, and realized I didn't even care. The best story idea I had came to me in the shower, with characters and plot line from beginning to end. The problem there? It was a horror-mystery-pyscho book and I wouldn't read one of those, much less actually write one.

Moving on, I like music. But let's be honest, the cello ain't working out so good, and I can't sing in tune, much less harmonize. Luke and the kids are polite, most of the time, but I realize I don't have a career in music. Maybe I could teach it? Yeah, that'll pay for UF!

Next on the list: comedy. I LOVE stand-up. I watch it every Friday. I even pay attention to how the comics put together their skits and how may laughs they aim for in a half-hour show. I have even written some sketches full of the funny stuff that happens to me or the weird stuff I think. The problem here: I actually practiced with my video camera. My delivery sucks. I'm funny in the blog and I'm funny in the moment; not so much the stage thing. I realize this would get better with practice, but I'm not up to the humiliation it would take to get there.

So my list comes down to what I'm good at. I'm good at the whole wife thing. However, if I branch out in this area, it would spell certain disaster and possible homicide. Luke and I are very monogamous and we don't share well with others. The other side of that relationship is also not up for grabs. While Luke and I enjoy our intimate time together, I guarantee you no one wants to see us do so. I will happily deprive the "movie industry" of another star, thanks.

So this leaves me with, what? And then it hits me. My perfect job: superhero sidekick. You see, I'm not brave enough or strong enough to be the big hero. However, I sew, so I could come up with a kick-butt costume. And I naturally end up in funny situations that bring a folksy-charm to any occasion. My witty responses and sarcasm all seal the deal, in my opinion.

Moral of the story: Anyone know a good superhero that needs a side-kick?

"Don't You Just Love Disney?"

So last week we took the week off. I'm trying a six-weeks-on-one-week-off schedule for school, and Luke has a lot of vacation time stored up due to sucky work conditions earlier in the year. So what do we do? We spend two days at Disney.

I was thinking that after having gone to Diney for a bazillion times, that the kids would begin to get tired of it. I was thinking that this might be the year we get rid of our passes. Well, once again Disney has worked its magic and convinced this consumer not to be hasty. Let me tell you why.

Disney has something for everyone. So you don't like roller coasters? Then ride Small World or People Mover. Don't want a burger? Get a salad and some clam chowder. No matter how young, old, hip, or grumpy you are, you can find something you'll like. It's fun to know that at least once during the trip you are going to do something you enjoy.

Hidden Mickeys are the way to go. We have been to the parks so many times, I worry that we have become jaded about the Disney magic. However, it seems to be the opposite. We have stream-lined our visits to certain targeted strikes. We only go where we want to. We only ride our very favorite rides. If it's too crowded, too rainy, too hot, we can leave to return another day. But, this time to spice things up a bit, I bought the Hidden Mickey book. This book gives you clues to find "Mickey" shapes hidden in the Disney architecture or art work. This has brought new life to our park visits. Making a targeted strike to Hollywood Studios? Be sure to look for the Mickey in the 'cosmic car' poster while waiting for Rockin' Rollercoaster, or the one in the boiler room of the Tower of Terror. We found several Mickeys that weren't actually Mickeys, and even made some of our own. The kids had a blast.

You can see stuff here that you will witness no where else on earth. And that, my friend, might be a good friend. The see of humanity that surrounds you at Disney is enough to keep a people watcher satisfied for weeks. And they didn't disappoint this time around either. Check out the guy with the over-the-knee red cowboy boots. Why? I have no frickin' idea, but I took a picture of it. And the boat; this one is a classic. We were taking the river boat from Downtown Disney back to our hotel and these ladies had stalled their rental boat in the middle of the passage under the bridge. No one could get through until the Disney coast guard came to rescue them. I thought it was fabulous, especially because it wasn't me!

Moral of the story: Disney really is the happiest place on earth....especially on the off season when everyone else is at school!

"Sister Hazel Rocks!"

So we took the kids to their first ever concert on Friday. Yes, Rachel is only nine and Mark is just a lovely little six year-old. I heard several comments that I was nuts. I even had that thought a time or two myself. However, we had a rockin' good time!

Sister Hazel is a band from Gainesville, so this was a home-town crowd. You could tell from the crowd as we walked in. I was expecting a mostly college-aged crowd. However, there were grandmothers there and there were kids from the elementary school where Ken Blocks kid goes. We couldn't have asked for a better crowd.

The venue was terrific as well. The concert was at the Performing Arts center. It was small and everyone had their own seat. There was no "floor" seating where people usually go nuts. Granted, there were people dancing in the aisles, but they just added to the atmosphere. We got to sit through most of the songs. The kids enjoyed it, but Mark missed the nachos. We couldn't have asked for a better venue.

Then there was the actual performance. I love Sister Hazel's music; it's my happy music. The kids' both like it too. The music and lyrics are actually "kid friendly". I didn't have to worry about covering their ears. I didn't have to worry that the lyrics would be inappropriate. The band put on a great show and even their talk and stories in between were enjoyable. We couldn't have asked for a better group.

All in all, this was a fantastic family evening.

Moral of the story: Thank, mom. We had a GREAT time!

"The Closer to 40 You Get..."

Wow. Recently Luke and I have had some moments. You know those moments; the ones where you say to yourself, "Wow, I'm getting old!" Ours go like this.

Yesterday was Luke's birthday. He swears he's twenty-three. Take if from the one that has been with him these last 17 years, day in and day out. He is so NOT 23 anymore. Anyway. Birthdays always make me take a hard look in the mirror. And this is what I discovered.

I have discovered that the number of lotions you slather on yourself before bed is directly proportional to your age. I mean, think about it. How many lotions did you use when you were in your late teens, early 20's? Maybe some girly smelling something. Occasionally some sunscreen, but more often tanning oil; so not the same. Did you lotion before you put on your make-up when you were, oh, say 19? How about now?

I was recently "preparing" for bed when I began to take notice of my lotion situation. Here's my bedtime list: special lotion for the dry skin on my shoulders and upper arms. Face and neck creme. An eye serum. A special lotion for my hands and elbows. Lip balm. And finally, the ever popular pepermint foot rub. With this list, if I don't start getting ready for bed early enough, I might as well start with my daytime lotions!

The other discovery I made was that the amout of make-up I wear is inversely proportional to my age. When I was a late teen and into my make-up, I wore three kinds of base, four kinds of eye shadow, eye-liner, lip-liner, mascara, two shades of blush, powder, and two shades of lipstick. Now, lotion with sunscreen and some Carmex, and I'm good to go. When I'm forced to present a make-uped face, I wear probably 1/3 of what I used to. Problem is, my make-up is older than my children. I suppose it's a good thing I'm not required to 'do my face' very often!

As I was pondering the math equation that has become my beauty routine, Luke had his own moment.

He was perusing a game magazine in front of college ball this weekend when he pulls out the, "Man, I must be getting old!" line. I'm thinking it's a good thing we are getting old together, and ask what he has discovered. His age discovery was this: he made it all the way to page 84 of a game magazine before he saw something that he wanted. Hmm. I'm not sure this is an age thing, instead of an I-have-a-job-can't-spend-days-in-front-of-the-tv-and-I-buy-what-I-want-when-I-want thing. However, I'll give it to him because I'm feeling generous. It's all that beauty math that puts me in such a good mood.

Growing old is an adventure. What's your story?

Moral of the story: I'll take lotions over make-up, any day of the week.

"Happy Birthday to My Baby Girl!"

I think it is appropriate to wish my kid "Happy Birthday!" on Labor Day. After all, it was the day she was due.

Everyone thought it was a scream that my daughter was due on Labor Day, 2000. Yeah, real damn funny, unless you're nine months pregnant in the Florida heat! The strange thing was I actually went into labor on Labor Day. The result, 36 hours and one unplanned c-section later, was my beautiful and talented daughter.

We have just come back from celebrating her ninth birthday in Gainesville, with friends and family. We had a great time. And even though this may be a little late, I'd like to spend a few blog lines celebrating the fabulous person that is my daughter.

She was small when she entered this world, but she has a GIANT heart. She is funny and caring and wonderful. When I look at her, I don't see parts of me and parts of Luke put together to make one damn cute individual human. I see the girl that loves to read. I see the girl that has a great smile. I see a girl that is really into dead things, the grosser the better. I see my beautiful Rachel.

Rach is very talented. She is incredibly creative. She might be getting older, but she is still young enough to like her mom and dad. She loves her family and wants nothing more than to spend some time just hanging with them. She especially treasures her 'daddy time'.

She gets sarcasm. She tells funny jokes. She can draw. She can annoy her brother better than anyone I know. She can be a great partner in crime. And the girl LOVES her chocolate!

I have loved these last nine years with my kid. I realize the hard years are yet to come. I realize that I've had her at home 1/2 as long as I'm going to. Time is hurtling forward and it's dragging us with it. In nine more years I'll be driving her up to Gainesville to stay for the new semester and there will be no room in her dorm room for me.

So, I'll store up these last nine years, and collect a few more along the way. I'll be sure to tell her I love her. I'll be sure to tell her I'm proud of her. And I'll certainly be sure to hug on her as often as she'll let me.

Hey, Rach, this piece of cyber-cake is all for you, baby! Mommy loves you! Happy Birthday!

"Go Gators!"

Some of you may view the upcoming football season as a loss of your companion. Some of you may view it as uninterrupted shopping time. For others, it signals the beginning of all the fall holidays that are most beloved. How ever it is viewed, this is the big weekend!

So, the entire family is going to the game tomorrow. We do that whole "drag the kids to places of our younger years and tell them the same stories we told them last year when we came" thing. This year, we're even dragging the neighbors along. But I have something to admit....I didn't like going to the games when I actually went to school at UF. Go figure.

When I was a student, the games were just something to annoy me on a Saturday. I'd have to plan when I was going to go shopping or do laundry around a stupid sporting event. After Luke and I got together he dragged me to a few games in the name of 'dating'. The older I got, the more games I watched on TV. As I got older, the snacks got better, too. I'm sorry now that I wasn't appreciative of what I had, when I had it. Again, go figure.

Let's face it, football is the greatest American past time there is. And it doesn't get better than college ball, where the players aren't millionaires; they're just kids that love the game. Once a year we splurge and take the whole family. It is a blast. All colleges have their different traditions. Every Saturday during the season, hundreds of thousands of people don obnoxious attire and high-five perfect strangers, all in the name of collegiate camaraderie. Can I get a, "Go Gators!"

And Saturday, my family will be doing just that, and indoctrinating their friends into the greatness that is Gator Ball. We'll swelter in the heat and humidity and call it an "advantage". We'll scream until we're hoarse. We'll watch the crowds and the crazy students that are all dressed weird. We'll pay homage to all our popular icons. Albert the alligator. The band. The flag-guy. Singing "We Are the Boys". Mr. Two-Bits, well , the other Mr. Two-Bits, not the original. What's not to love about this? Can I get a, "Go Gators!"

We'll drink our body weight in sodas and Gatorade. We'll eat snacks that we bought from guys on the street. We'll likely stand for a good portion of the game. We'll worry about the weather. We'll spend way too much money on souvenirs. All in the name of good family fun. Can I get a, "Go Gators!"

Wish us luck, and think of your favorite team or Alma mater with pride this weekend!

Moral of the story: Go Gators!

"School Daze"

I thought now was a good time of year to wax poetical about school. So, here it goes.

I love new stuff. Getting ready for the school year was always my favorite part of the year. Freshly sharpened pencils. Clean, white paper just waiting for your happy thoughts to spill out and fill it. New clothes. Squeaky new shoes. A brand-spanking new backpack. And my favoritist of all, the Trapper Keeper. I just love the smell of new school supplies! I want everyone this year, just for me, to stop in the school supplies aisle and take a big whiff, okay?

The other thing I like about the new school year is the feeling of hope you carry with you. The thought that this, yes, this would be the year. The year you get all A's on your spelling tests. The year that you actually remember to turn in your homework on time. The year you get to be teacher's helper. The year you aren't picked last at PE. The year that people might actually call you "Pamela" instead of "Pammy". Hope is a great thing. It makes you feel like to can be and do anything. It makes you think you can be a new you. It makes you keep going when you feel like quitting. I think the beginning of the school year saves up some extra hope, just so the beginning part is really cool. And I want everybody, to think some really hokey, hope-filled thought, right now, just for me.

I like how everybody gets the benefit of the doubt at the beginning of school, too. Teachers really want to buy into that great, shiny hope that is just radiating off of all of the students, in their new school clothes. Most of us are ready to believe that you kids are the best and the smartest we ever had. Teachers too, hope for the best year ever. And, just for me, I want to you see the hope that the teacher shares with you, and respond to it in kind, okay?

So, here's to hope. May it bring everyone something good this year.


Moral of the story: Good luck this school year. May you all be happy, healthy, and loved. Hugs all around!